owls and social media
How an owl trick can help us with social media
Have you ever scrolled through social media and saw something that you wanted really badly? Something that caused you to feel feelings of envy, jealousy, (shame for feeling that way) and covetousness? I have! In fact, one time, it caused me to burst into tears.
I was fixating on what I didn’t have, what I thought would make my life “perfect,” as opposed to the blessings I did have.
Which of course, then allows the Enemy to come slithering in and whisper lies to our tender hearts: God is not doing the best thing for you. You should have this. He’s being mean.
Ugh! Like a cartoon, these hissing words slither around our souls and cause us to doubt the One who loves us the most and knows what ‘s best for us.
Some of this broadcast is an excerpt from my new book, This Outside Life: Finding God in the Heart of Nature.
Here is a transcript of the podcast for those of you who prefer to read!
Owls are so cool. And they're so mysterious probably because when we're asleep, they are out roaming about and so we don't see them much. We don't know about them much. But today we're going to learn about why I think owls are so cool.
Today’s focus all started with social media, its difficulties, a few tears, and learning to do what owls do which really helps with sanity.
“Quick! Turn the lights out!” I said as I skulked around from window to window cautiously peering out around the blinds of each one. “But why mommy?” asked my son Jack. All he got from me was a frantic hand waving to be quiet. I couldn't ignore the hooting. It was so penetrating and close almost as if we had a pet owl inside the house and I wanted to find out where this great horned owl was.
Finally, I spotted him, perched on top of the roof that covered part of our driveway right near my son's bedroom window. Dang, he was big! I was used to the size of songbirds and red-tailed Hawks, but this guy at two feet tall seemed formidable and ginormous. He stopped hooting. I pulled back from the blinds.
I ran to another bedroom where I wouldn't startled him and carefully raise the window and pressed my face against the screen. I began hooting back into the soft darkness. “Whoo-hoo!” He answered, “Whoo. Whoo. Whoo!” I again called out in what I believed was an imitation that would have impressed my professional ornithologists. Jack stood behind me, bewildered at his bizarre mother hooting out the window.
“What's going on?” Boomed a loud voice shattering the moment. I jerked up, smacking my head on the window. “Ouch!” My husband was standing in the doorway, light was spilling in from behind him and I could see he was frowning in concern at his wife who was obviously losing her mind hooting out the window.
Our owl came by nearly every night, hooting mournfully and soulfully, while I read story books to our son. I thought he was the coolest thing. So majestic, mysterious and wild. I asked our neighbors if they had seen him.
Mike, a furnace installer and repair man nodded and started chuckling at the memory as he pushed back his hair with a beefy tattooed hand.
“I went out there one night and I stood in the driveway. He was on that little roof over our driveway and I was about 15 feet away. I've never been that close to an owl before! I stared back at him and raised my arms like a bird to see if I would frighten him. That huge, big-ass bird did the exact same thing, and he started coming toward me!”
“What did you do?” I asked. I didn't think anything could much intimidate Mike.
He laughed. “I squealed like a girl and ran inside!”
Owls are really cool, because they daily regurgitate the useless bits that they have digested. I discovered this because when I walked outside after the evenings where he was hooting outside our window, I would find these little pellets on our driveway and I couldn't figure out what it was at first.
I thought it was somebody's dog leaving, you know, digested bits (doo doo) on our driveway. Then I thought because they were all dried out that they were like cigar ashes from somebody. (And who the heck is smoking cigars in our driveway?!) And then I realized, oh! They're owl pellets.
Owl pellets are really interesting because it's all the undigested matter that the owl can't use— little bits of bone and feather and claws and teeth from all the critters they eat. The moles, the mice, snakes, whatever they're eating, all the useless bits get regurgitated and he barfs them out in a neat little package. And I just think that's so cool and applicable to us and social media.
It's so easy to keep scrolling through social media and see how everyone else is doing, living in their picture-perfect lives. And this can sometimes be kind of soul-crushing and worst of all, it takes our focus off of what wonderful things God is doing in our lives. When I fixate on what others have, my own blessings seem not so great and I began to despise what God has said is good for me.
I once saw on this one woman's feed her new home. It was a cute bungalow, a Cape Cod type of home. (This picture is not hers, but it was bigger and even more perfect) And PS: this is what my fantasy is all about—I dream of a home like this style.
It had a wide front porch, crown molding in every room, deep baseboards, hardwood floors and just charming charming charming throughout the whole place. But best of all, what made my heart go pitter-patter was her office or design studio.
It was a separate place above their detached garage with a pitched roof and skylights. So not only was it a great getaway spot where she wouldn't be disturbed, it was cozy with those slanted walls up under the eaves and it had lovely natural light due to the sky lights. She posted about all her design choices and how she was going to use the space.
I wanted to move in there and live her life. I wanted to burn down what I had and live in what she had.
Seeing her perfect adorable home and her seemingly perfect life, well, I did what any well-adjusted God-fearing woman would do, I burst into tears!
I was so consumed with want, desire, jealousy, and envy over not having that dream for myself. I started crying, “Why not me?” I wailed inwardly, and then the hissing lies started. You know, where the enemy of our souls whispers:
“God is holding out on you! Clearly, he loves her more than you. What have you done that has so offended him that he's not giving that to you? Look—isn't this just the perfect office? Wouldn't you just flourish in her space? Aren't you angry that you don't have that? You'd use it to bless others and bring glory to God wouldn’t you? See, God isn't fair. In fact, he's kind of a jerk, don't you think?”
Wow, that's a whole lot of venom from the enemy of our souls, right? And if we're not careful we can encourage him to hiss these lies into our ears. We will start nodding, agreeing and turning our eyes away from what God wants us to see. We will start obsessing about how our lives should be instead of enjoying the blessings we have.
No matter how great stuff looks in social media. You don't have the whole story. I knew this woman who had this stud-muffin of a husband. He was gorgeous, fit and seemed to really be involved in raising their three sons who were incredibly handsome as well. They had a lovely home, yadda yadda yadda. “Well, she has it made!” was my assumption.
A few years later I discover, she’s getting remarried. What happened? Well, it seems her picture-perfect husband was an alcoholic and couldn't stop having affairs with other women. Now, that's something I couldn't have seen coming.
We don't know the full story behind the glittering images that we see on social media, but that's not even the main point.
The bigger issue is believing that God is not doing right by us, believing the lie that if we only had what so-and-so is enjoying then we would be living the perfect life and that would truly make us happy.
I love this verse in Psalm 73 and I turn back to it so often. It describes our actual state before God when we think this way. I'm going to read it first in the NIV and then in The Message because I just think it gives a really big picture of the condition our souls are in when we believe these lies.
Here's The Message, Psalm 73 verses 21 through 24.
So this verse is saying when we think this way, we're ignorant and we're like a dumb ox.
In the NIV it says,
So, how can we avoid ending up here, crying over our phones because of someone else's curated life that appears to be everything we have ever wanted to have? Like the owl, regurgitate it. Refused to swallow the lie that her life is perfect. Reject the notion that God isn't doing right by you.
And maybe you need to go a little further. Maybe you could put that person's account on pause, or delete it for a while. So, you don't have to battle those feelings—so you won't get so easily tripped up.
We need to protect our souls and gulp down God's truth for us because no matter how glittery and fabulous other lives appear, they are not necessarily real nor are they what you should be comparing to. If we want peace in our souls, we have to pay attention to what we're consuming and regurgitate the useless comparison bits.
I want to leave you with reading another version of the end of Psalm 73. This is the NLT version:
I pray that this would really bless you today as you scroll through social media or think about the life that you should be living as opposed to the life you have. And just regurgitate those thoughts. Don't swallow them, and you will find rest for your souls.
Thanks so much for taking the time to de-stress and refresh in the Nature of Hope. See you next time!