Flaws - And How to Love Your Body
How to love your body
That’s me on a hiking trip up to Half Dome in Yosemite National Park. I’m in my twenties, and instead of thinking about the amazing view, I think I was mostly thinking about my THIGHS on that trip. How they rubbed together, how embarrassed I was to be wearing those shorts that were too short. Do you waste time, energy and your heart on stupid thoughts like these? Let’s stop it!
Today, I'm going a little off-topic. I don't have any notes. I just have an issue burning in my chest and it's about body hatred and how we're so obsessed with our flaws and yet when we look in nature, it's all the flaws, it's all the differences that we love. Stick with me and walk through this because I think you're going to look at nature and look at yourself in a whole new way.
And I think it grieves our heavenly father we hate so much what God has made. We want to change or diminish our thighs, our butt, our arms, our saggy breasts. All that stuff is just such a waste of time. I want to help free you from that and help you enjoy the outdoors more and look at it with a whole new perspective.
So I've been thinking a lot about flaws. Flaws in nature and flaws in our bodies. I don't know about you, but particularly as a woman I am so tired of the war with the flaws in my body or what I think of as flaws. I think it's fascinating that in nature anything that is flawed is seen as so beautiful.
Like those big, warty lumps on trees. Those are called burl's. And that's what woodcarvers and woodturners use for those amazing wood bowls that have these beautiful ribbons of colors in them. It's because of the flaw on the tree they are prized by woodcarvers, they love those lumps and bumps because those make the most beautiful bowls.
In gardening, when a plant produces this bizarre sport version like a different coloring we say, “Oh that's a beautiful new bloom! It's got red and white tints on this rose petal. That's a new sport that has been produced!”
We look at it as a beautiful thing when we see driftwood on the beach.
It's gnarled, it's been tossed by the wind and waves. We think, “Oh that's just so artistic and beautiful!” And we bring it into our homes. And yet when the same thing happens on our bodies, we look at it as ugly and flawed.
This is crazy thinking. Because, think about how nature would be if every tree looked the same, every flower was the same, none of them bent. If none of them had their pedals drop, and all of them looked exactly the same, it would be like Legoland. It would just be awful. It'd be like living in some sort of weird, virtual reality. Instead, it’s all just gorgeous with some birds looking brilliant, some look drab. Some are like the Toucan with this enormous giant beak that's multicolored. And then you've got the hummingbird with the skinny long little beak that can dive deep into flowers.
We look at nature and see the flaws as beautiful! Not every wave is the same height. Not all sand is the same—some beaches have pink sand and some have black and volcanic sand. Nature is full of things that are so-called flawed and that's what makes it so beautiful.
But when it comes to our bodies, we are so unforgiving. We hate them, or at least women do, and specifically I want to talk about my thighs. I've been at war with my thighs since I was little. I remember being about I don't know, six or eight years old, crouching on the sidewalk in the summertime and thinking, “Wow. Look how big my thighs are!” Now, I was not an obese child. I wasn't even chubby. But I remember looking at my thighs and I took my finger nail and I scratched a path, like, “If I could cut this off—this is where I would cut off my thighs.”
This is me around 7 or 8. I just want to give that kid a hug and tell her, “You’re fine!”
That is incredible. I'm thinking at a young age of how I want to mutilate my body because it's not good the way God made it.
I find that is just incredibly sad. And I could think, well, how did I get there? Was it because my mother was always dieting? I don't know, but I know I'm not alone. A lot of women hate their bodies. “Oh my upper arms, just jiggle. Oh after having kids. My breasts are sagging. Oh my thighs.”
I don't have a thigh gap. And when I look at what my body has done for me—these thighs that I've been so angry at ever since I was what six or eight? These thighs, they are what helped me climb up to Half Dome in Yosemite National Park with 45 pounds on my back and an old pair of tennis shoes. I couldn't do that today if you put a gun to my head, but I did it then.
You see this picture above and you probably think, “She looks fine. She's totally normal.” And now? Years later? I would be thrilled with those thighs! (They are definitely bigger now) But why didn’t I appreciate them then? I need to look at my thighs and remember, “Wow. Look what they did for me. They took me on that hike! These thighs got me up there.” So why am I waging war against them?
Those thighs have taken me to great swim races. I became an NCAA All-American division I swimmer. I've traveled around the world. I've been scuba diving in Samoa, Palau, Australia, and Hawaii. I've dived amazing sights and seen World War II submarines underwater and swam inside them. I've seen beautiful coral.
I've swam with sharks. I came up on one dive with big school of barracudas circling around me. And was I thinking about my thighs and how I don't have a thigh gap? No!
Download this free guide and get started on loving your body and being happy and grateful for it!
So why do I let stuff like that bother me? Instead of being appreciative for my feet (which are a size 12 and impossible to find shoes for— just look at your catalogs that come in the mail, they all go up to size 11), but instead of saying, “On my feet, you know, they're huge?” Well, they helped me climb up to Half Dome. (And P.S., have you ever thought about how the famous, “Half Dome” is flawed?? It’s HALF of a dome!)
Anyways, back to my huge feet. They helped me swim, they helped carry my son. They helped me walk four miles every day when I was pregnant with him. I've got to start changing, and we've got to start changing our mindsets to stop hating our bodies and start thanking God for what it’s done for us.
What sites have we seen with our precious eyes that we think, “Oh, they're there saggy. They're baggy. There are circles under my eyes.” Instead, what gorgeous views have you seen?
Who have we hugged with those arms we think are to jiggly and flabby? My arms, which I think are too large from years of weightlifting, these arms held my newborn son. I had waited seven years, gone through seven years of infertility and these arms were able to hug him and cuddle him. And there's no amount of money I would trade for that.
My eyes that I think, “Oh, I've got these dark circles under my eyes and now they're getting all saggy and baggy.” These eyes have seen the Swiss Alps. These eyes have seen Old Faithful explode in a showering tower of water.
These eyes have seen newborn bison frolicking across the Yellowstone prairies. These eyes have seen amazing things. I've been deep under water, and seen corals and fish and sharks and my eyes have seen astounding things. Why would I complain about them?
How about our legs? Where have we walked? To what have we stood up against with our legs? I'm so tired of all this hating what we have and thinking, I've got to look like everybody else on Instagram.
We don't expect that from nature. We get outside and we want to see differences. We want to see different mountain peaks. We want to see different trees. Evergreens, weeping willows, colorful Maples. We want to see the trees change color in the fall. We don't want them all the same color. We want the red, the gold, the yellow, and some leaves that are partly green, right? We like the crunch under our feet, and all those things that are different.
This is what makes nature beautiful, and it’s what makes people beautiful—our differences. I mean, haven't you gone to another country and the people are utterly different than you, and you look at them, you think, “They are so handsome. They are so beautiful.” And it is completely other kind of beautiful than what we define is beautiful or handsome in the USA.
So why can't we look at all of nature, all of humanity, and let's bring it down to ourselves as beautiful the way God made us?
So, I want you to start thinking about the things that you think are flaws in your body. Maybe it's your face. Maybe it's your complexion. Maybe it's your hair. I've never had a bad hair day because I've got incredibly thick hair it always does what I wanted to do, but you know what? My size 12 feet, my big arms, and the fact that I've never had a thigh gap can kind of get on my nerves. But I just am so tired of hating my body and I want to start thanking God for it.
It's funny, you know the older you get and the more friends you start to lose along the way, people who never made it to their 30th, 40th, 50th, birthdays? You start realizing, “Hey, I'm standing upright, most of my body parts work, and it's a good day!”
We need to realize that we are part of God's magnificent creation and just like nature, where all the trees and all the flowers, and the mountains, the cactus, the creatures under the sea, the birds of the air, everybody's different. Everybody's got different colors, different shapes. It's okay the way I am.
I’ve started to be thankful for all the things I've seen, the people I've hugged, the places I've gone, and all that this body has done for me.
So that's your challenge this week. I want you to flaunt your flaws because honey, you're beautiful and God made you in His image. And therefore you are a beautiful creature and He does not make mistakes.
If all this talk about appreciating the body that God gave you and taking it outside, and appreciating nature with it, it it has really spoken to your heart, I have a free download for you. It just walks you through, from your head to your toes, all the reasons you have to be grateful. And you have to fill it out.
For example, what have your eyes seen? What beautiful sunsets have you seen? Who with your saggy floppy upper arms, who have you hugged? Who have you embraced? Who's embraced you? What have you smelled? Did somebody bake something for you? Maybe when you were a little kid? And that aroma is the smell of love?
What have your feet done for you? Have you walked somewhere that was amazing? Or have you carried something for somebody else and somebody cried on your shoulders? Where have you sat and enjoyed something incredibly lovely—maybe it was a concert so you can thank your bottom! It's just a worksheet that works through all your body parts, and asks you to think about all the wonderful things your body is done for you. Then you can walk away thankful and appreciative and have a whole different attitude. I hope you download it!
I have a friend Judy who was born without legs and she has this amazing attitude of joy in life. She's just she's so thankful. She met a guy who didn't care that she didn’t have any legs and married her, and they have beautiful children. And she's traveled around the world speaking. And sure, having legs would make her life a whole lot easier! But instead of ruminating on that, she's just so thankful and grateful for what she does have.
It's so easy to get completely stuck on little things that just don't matter. I love what Anne Lamott says about her thighs. She calls them the “Aunties.” And sure, they've got lumps and bumps and sag more than she'd like, but she talks about being kind to them, and massaging lotion into them, and being fond of the Aunties and for all they've done for her.
A lot of Christians know this verse in the Psalms, where David says, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (138:14). We need to take that to heart. We really are fearfully and wonderfully made. And I wonder if we spend as much time thinking about others, praying for them, serving them as we do obsessing on our flaws, what kind of world this would be?
I mean, who is benefited by us focusing on what we don't have, and how we don't measure up, or are too fat? That is such a waste of time. And trust me, the Enemy of your souls loves it when we do this because it takes our minds off of what we could be doing. It takes our mind off of who we could be loving. And when we're all obsessed about our body, we're not thinking about anybody else! And what a completely twisted way to live!
Notice how some blades of grass are bent? Notice how the tree is not perfectly balanced? But all of it together is beautiful and perfect.
So just refuse to play that game. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. And God delights in you, so delight in what he's given you. Take that body with all those lumps and bumps and flaws and get outside and look at the beautiful, lumpy, bumpy, flawed nature that's out there. It’s glorious, and it’s singing, and just exalting in its Creator and flaunt your flaws.
I've noticed that people who are the most attractive are the ones that are really comfortable in their skin. They’ve got a smile for everybody. And they walk into a room eager to make friends, instead of hunching their shoulders up by their ears, trying to disappear. They don’t mentally obsess, “Am I the fattest one here?”
Oh, who cares! Are you enjoying life? Because you know what? Very soon it's going to be over and we don't have control over that. I mean, I'm still reeling from the fact that Rachel Held Evans died at 37 with two little kids from a simple UTI and a bad reaction to antibiotics. It was such a shock and I think, we just assume we're going to live to 80 plus years. Maybe not! Enjoy the body you have now.
This is Jenna Kutcher on Instagram. (You need to follow her) She flaunts her “flaws” with confidence and so can you! Isn’t she gorgeous?
If you want to follow somebody that's got a great body image, look up Jenna Kutcher. She’s got a great Instagram feed because she's the Wisconsin girl like me, and she's not a size 0 or 1. I don't know what she is—maybe 12, maybe 14, maybe 16. It doesn't matter.
Let's just say she's a big strong curvy girl and she's okay with that, and obviously her fans are okay with that because I think she has about several hundred thousand fans. She posts pictures of herself in bathing suits and bikinis, and in her underwear. She's a gorgeous, curvy, luscious, healthy, woman enjoying life. And that's the way it should be.
So get outside look at something beautiful and thank God that your legs took you out there, that your eyes saw it, and your ears beheld the wind in the trees, the waves and the shore, the birds…just be thankful for your body because one day it's not going to do what you want it to do.
You know, what else is cool about nature? There is no judgement out there! Nobody's thinking about how fat that tree is, or how skinny that flower is. Nobody thinks that way—it's just all beautiful and we just appreciate the diversity and the differences and there's no judgment out there. So, don't do it to yourself.
You are a part of God's creation. So just enjoy being out there with the body He gave you. Nature is full of flaws—bent things, large things, tiny things, crooked things, droopy things, flaccid things, nature is full of wobbly things, floppy things, and old things. It doesn't matter.
God delights in diversity and creativity. So get out there and celebrate the difference. That is you. You're beautiful.
You are made In His image. Get out there and celebrate it and treat it well. Get outside, take a hike, love nature. Love yourself.
If this has connected with you, if you resonate with this: I'm tired of hating my body. I want to be thankful for it. I want to be grateful for all the places, it's taken me around the world, outside with the kids. If you feel like you want to do a little bit more with this and maybe, get better at appreciating your body, download the free worksheet I have for you. I don't even want to call it a worksheet. It's just a fun piece of paper front and back. I've titled it, “The Happy Body Project” to remind us to have gratitude for all these body parts that we are so used to hating and saying derogatory comments about. It's just a great exercise to really feel some gratitude for what your body's done for you.
And as you remember what your body has done for you, and all the places you've gone, and all the things you've seen, and the beautiful things you've heard, and by the time you're done filling it out? You're going to be weepy and thankful for what your body has done for you.
This podcast today was not based on any book. But if you love nature, and want to connect with God through His creation, you will enjoy my book, This Outside Life: Finding God in the Heart of Nature.
